Intimacy is…

Closeness.

Vulnerability.

Connection.

Some might say it is a fundamental aspect of human relationships beyond mere physical proximity, encompassing the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual aspects of being human.

Some have said it is vital to healthy relationships, enriching our lives and deepening our connections.

Some might say that doing it right entails some form of nurturing, embracing vulnerability, fostering open communication, and prioritizing quality time.

Some have said that the experience of intimacy brings profound joy in exchange for being truly known and loved.

What do you say? I would love to know.

Often, intimacy is deemed a “thing” that only exists within romantic relationships. However, that is not the case—at least from my experiences or that of a few people I have pointedly asked (curious Mairo) to inform this blog entry. Intimacy also exists within platonic relationships and sometimes even with strangers (to my surprise and when you think of it!).

Over the past few weeks, I have been reflecting on the ways intimacy exists within relationships (both platonic and romantic). Maybe this reflection is tied to finding myself around people more than usual or because I am basking in these shared joyful moments with people I enjoy spending time with.

Beyond what has already been said above and still is being said about what constitutes intimacy, my experiences and asking a few folks how they have come to know, experience, share, and appreciate intimacy have led me to conclude that intimacy takes many shapes and forms.

For this blog entry, I wanted to share a few of the many shapes and forms I have heard about/found out about that intrigued me and made me more appreciative of the little (but maybe sometimes also big) intimate moments shared with others:

#1. Answering the phone with a “Hey, you.”

#2. Knowing what another person needs when they send you a certain message.

#3. Giving someone undivided attention when you are depleted (energetically and/or emotionally) and cannot give it to others other than that person.

#4. When someone is at the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.

#5. The soft-touch experienced on your back in a crowded place from another that lets you know they are still close.

#6. That smile from another across the room that could convey many things depending on context (e.g., You are doing great!)

#7. Knowing exactly what is being communicated by looking at someone else’s eyes.

#8. That unintentional gentle kick underneath the table that occasionally happens from the person sitting across or beside.

#9. Your head softly landing on a familiar shoulder (especially when tiredness is involved).

#11. A hand in your hand.

#12. A shoulder or arm squeeze by someone you care about as they walk past.

#13. All the little things that make you smile out of the blue when you think of that someone.

#14. A private joke that is shared with another or others without words.

#15. Looking at someone and laughing together (IYKYK).

#16. The “I care for you”, “Did you get home?”, “Have you eaten today?” messages that light up your phone screen.

#17. Someone getting a beverage for you just the way you like it.

#18. Not saying “just kidding” after a statement because they get it is a joke without you saying it is.

#19. Saving the last bite of something so good for someone else.

#20. Feeding someone a bite of a meal you are cooking for a taste test.

#21. Sitting in comfortable silence with another person or others and not feeling the need to fill space with words.

#22. Communication and comprehension and the reciprocity of it all.

#23. Hearing the words “exactly” when conveying empathy to someone.

#24. Whispering with someone in a dark room before falling asleep.

#25. Validating experiences and asking questions about said experiences.

#26. Someone uttering the words “We cannot do that day because you are working or have X plans” when trying to plan something together.

#27. Stopping patiently for another to tie their shoes while on a walk.

#28. And the list goes on…

My food for thought at the end of all of this, if you reckon, is…

As you are out Summering, being social (by choice or not), and soaking in time with loved ones, I hope you take a moment to appreciate the little moments we experience in this life, for they are these beautiful building blocks to the big ones.

Until next time!

(Blog entry photo credit: Captured moment of experiencing #9 with a childhood friend on a train)