Self-Care is…

Before I start spilling, a big shout out to friends who engage in the most exciting conversations! This blog post was inspired by a conversation with my friend (whom I shall call A) about self-care.

Sometime last week, I was on the phone with A, who was having a very long week at work. During our conversation, I asked A how she was taking care of herself going through the week and what her plans for taking some time to herself looked like post-work week. A’s reply was gratitude as I had not immediately advised her to take a bubble bath or light a candle. Her exact comment was, “If anyone tells me to f*cking take a bath and light a candle for self-care, I will lose it!”.

Her comment got me thinking about the evolution of the concept of self-care and how it has become this buzzword thrown around and an act that is only afforded by those who live privileged lives. However, I also see the importance of centering self when it comes to self-sustainability.

The conversation with A inspired me to reflect on what self-care is for me. I firmly believe that self-care is subjective and therefore is whatever you define it to be. I also think that when it comes to encouraging others to lean into self-care, we should ask others what that looks like for them, not do this and that to feel better. After all, we are the experts of our own lives but not of the lives of others.

As a fun and creative challenge, I decided to use the English alphabet (A-Z) to list the different forms of self-care that work for me, and what others around me have mentioned works for them.

The somewhat of a list below may be similar to forms or practices of self-care you already lean into, but if not, hope it adds in some way to:

• Your existing forms or practice of self-care.

• Inspires or evokes thought on how you define your forms or practice of self-care.

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Self-care is:

A - Accepting help when it is offered by others.

B - Boundary setting in whatever area of life needed.

C - Communicating needs to others.

D - Drinking water.

E - Excercising.

F - Finishing that thing that has been put aside forever.

G - Getting the f*cking work done so the work does not have to be thought of later (my personal fave).

H - Holding space for self or others.

I - Indulging in small/big luxuries (small or big is open to interpretation).

J - Joking around with someone who just gets it!

K - Kissing a partner.

L - Learning to do something for yourself, something creative, etc.

M - Mindfulness.

N - Not overextending self with work, personal life, etc.

O - Offering the gift of time to others.

P - Praying.

Q - Quitting a habit, that role that is just…, etc.

R - Reclaiming time.

S - Self pleasure, spa day, sleep in no particular order.

T - Timeboxing tasks to help with managing the limited time the day offers us.

U - Understanding that no one will prioritize you as person as much as you do for self.

V - Variable.

W - Whatever brings joy in the moment.

X - X-ing out things in life that are no longer serving joy, purpose, meaning, etc.

Y - Yoga.

Z - Zumba class or classes.

I would love to know what self-care look like for you these days. Drop me a line as I find it it deeply uplifting to hear from you.

Keep spilling!