To Therapy or Not To Therapy?
How are you, really? (Find me wherever we are connected, and let me know!)
I was reading my weekly dose of NEXT by Jen Zoratti, and the title of her piece for March 15, 2023 – Are we fine? caught my attention and got me thinking.
Growing up in Nigeria, I am familiar with Nigerian society and, for lack of a better phrase - its denial of the existence of mental health issues. It has taken quite a bit work to be the person I am proud of being today. I had to embark on my own personal journey to explore what mental health is, what taking care of myself means or looks like, work on articulating and processing my issues/repressed feelings, and discover the joy advocating for mental health services/resources with and for others brings me.
Fast forward to year 2023, after occupying a few work and volunteer roles where I have therapeutically supported others, I am pursuing my graduate studies to become a Psychotherapist.
Prior to the year 2022, I wondered what being a therapeutically supported person would be like. I certainly do not want to be the future therapist who is a “know it all” or the person who says, “I don’t have any issues; my life is perfect” – None of the phrases above are true to my authentic self.
Let’s be honest that we all have something about us or in our lives that we can work on or work through.
However, how you work through that something should be on your terms.
Therapy – it works, but will it work for you? You are the expert of your own life and probably know your response best.
If you are leaning towards a yes – Good for you! Realization is often the first step.
If you are leaning towards a no – Have you tried? If yes you have tried, I encourage you to try again even though I know finding the right therapist is no easy work.
If you lean towards a maybe, I ask – What is hindering you or a barrier in your way?
If you lean towards a maybe not now – Assess/Consider why. I know life cards just don’t align sometimes.
When it came time to invest (mentally, emotionally and financially) in mental health therapy, I pulled up my running checklist below (which I started maybe seven years ago) and began to search for my therapist on Psychology Today.
Personally, it was important to me that my therapist is:
☐ Black/of African Descent or a Person of Color.
☐ Female.
☐ Done their own work!
I never trust a therapist who hasn’t been to therapy or is in therapy for their
own sh*t.
☐ Capable of listening to me to understand and not to just reply or problem
solve.
☐ Non-judgmental.
I say so many things to my therapist that I can never be caught saying out in
public!
☐ Can actually connect with me on a human level.
Textbook knowledge is great but if you can’t connect with me like a human
first because of someone with issues, umm, BYE!
☐ At a location that does not feel like a chore to drive to.
☐ Affordable. I tell you; therapy is not just a mental and emotional investment
but also a financial one.
After what felt like scrolling forever, I found the one!
My therapy journey has been going great so far. It is always bittersweet when my 50 minutes of the allotted biweekly time is up.
How is your therapy journey going if you are currently in therapy working on something or through something? If you aren’t, what is helping you stay sane, energized, functioning at 100%, etc., these days?
Keep spilling,
Mairo
